useless.. (this is gonna be a damn ugly post so read it at ur own will..)

i cant take it anymore..

i'm fucking useless.. i cant even make some one smile or be happy..i even think i bore her out most of the times.. i feel so god damn useless.. the only time when i can make her happy when she's out with me is when i call her frens out together with us.. the only time it seems that i can get her out is when her frens are coming.. and it seems like when she spends time alone with he its her last resort.. even a simple chalet i cant get her to stay.. not even for the sake of the guy she's dating.. i had to even not invite another grp of frens so that if she called her frens down they wont feel left out.. i mean have u ever think abt how i might feel..? i feel so unappreciated.. and when ever u say lets call some one else or when u looked so depressed with me and u tell me u're tired but when some one comes along u are suddenly not tred.. i feel hurt and useless.. or when u wont go out with me cause its only me.. it just breaks my heart to hear that.. i get this feeling that she doesnt even like me anymore.. i feel like its we are very rocky right now.. am i expecting too much or putting in too little.. cant i just get a nice simple relationship.. why must all the girls i fall in love with have some motherfuckers some where screwing her life up.. i mean just leave her alone for goodness sake.. and i seem to be falling for girls who cant seem to hurt anyone.. like cant even bear to scold some one even though that someone is giving her a hell lot of problems..i mean if the person is screwing ur life up fuck the person up.. slap the person too if it helps.. what ever to get ur point across.. i think i'm destined to stay single for the rest of my life.. fucking hate my love life.. fucking hate my life for that matter..

my studies is fucked up.. everything is so god damn difficult..financially i'm fucked too.. no cash for anything.. everything is in a mess.. esp my love life..nothing is going well.. fuck life..

some one just shoot me in the head.. fuck everything..

if you read this,

i'm really sorry to hurt u by this post

but i just needed to let it out some way b4 i explode

hope you'll forgive me and we'll work something out

i don't wanna lose you like this

but what ever it is i'll respect ur decision

i truely am sorry..